malasadas ([info]malasadas) wrote in [info]politicsforum,
2008-08-11 20:16:00


Step 1: Do not forget to call Georgia's attack on South Ossetia genocide. It is very, very important to do so even if you have to claim that there are more people fleeing South Ossetia than ever lived there.

Step 2: After you repeat that Georgia is engaged in genocide, compare Georgian President Saakashvili to Adolph Hitler. America is run by Jews. Jews hate Hitler.

Step 3: South Ossetia was NEVER a part of Georgia. Never. Never never never. If an American who looks up history points out otherwise, change the subject. Preferably to something about what happened to American Indians.

Step 4: Russia has never attacked Georgians outside of South Ossetia. Anyone who says anything else is simply a dupe of the BBC/CNN propoganda machine of George Bush. Americans do not like George Bush and will respond well to this argument.

Step 5: Georgia is the filthy lap dog puppet regime of America and NATO and wants only to destroy the noble Russian Empi -- er, Republic. Therefore, Russia would NEVER want war with Georgia.

Step 6: No matter what sources or reports an American cites, you always tell them that they should read "authentic" sources -- such a video blogs and uncited "reports" claiming to be in the war zone that magically show up on Russian blogs.

Step 7: America has done things other people consider bad. Therefore, no American can say anything bad about Mother Russia.

Step 8: Post many replies in Russian. Americans love learning new languages and will be happy for the challenge to expand linguistically.

Step 9: When every other argument fails, use swear words. Americans are a gritty, rugged people who love foul language.

Step 10: Post your reply in every community you can find that has the slightest thing to do with politics and when able to do so, in their own journals. The most successful and beloved icons of American culture and economy did so through constant repetition: such as Ronald McDonald, Colonel Sanders and Rachel Ray. Americans appreciate this.

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[info]mitrakov

August 12 2008, 00:51:23 UTC 3 years ago

Looool, +5 =)

[info]mrbogey

August 12 2008, 00:56:29 UTC 3 years ago

This is so accurate it's funny.

I wanted to brush up on my Russian grammar but christ this is ridiculous.

[info]hopma

August 12 2008, 01:02:04 UTC 3 years ago

well said

[info]theclamsman

August 12 2008, 01:05:45 UTC 3 years ago


Oh Christ, you said Rachel Ray is a "beloved icon". I THINK NOT.

[info]mrbogey

August 12 2008, 01:12:05 UTC 3 years ago

It's a fact. Rachel Ray is a beloved icon and has been for years. Everyone knows this. If you did something more than listen to CNN and being a fat American you'd know this!!

[info]virtual_anima

3 years ago

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[info]theclamsman

3 years ago

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[info]mrbogey

3 years ago

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[info]dv8nation

August 12 2008, 01:20:14 UTC 3 years ago

How dare you compare the great hero Colonel Sanders to Rachel Ray. A pox on your house, I say!

[info]fadeout1930

August 12 2008, 01:21:59 UTC 3 years ago



I am beginning to think they took their game plan from the Paultards.

[info]fadeout1930

August 12 2008, 01:26:02 UTC 3 years ago

Awwww photobucket denied me an animated gif of a clapping bear! :(

[info]dv8nation

August 12 2008, 01:22:49 UTC 3 years ago

It's number #8 that really gets me. I'm 29 and in my whole life I've met two Americans would could speak any real level of Russian. I really don't know what those people think they're doing.

[info]the_arioch

August 16 2008, 22:26:47 UTC 3 years ago

Maybe they're trying to wipe it with comments flood, demolish it like scotish tiger once :-)

Pity, we're too barbarian and desorganised, and instead of wiping one or two users we dissipate our efforts on dozens of users.

PS: afterall it is nothing comparing to one post in some USENET forum on programming, translated from russian it was like "Hey, are you all lunatics here? What's the mess you're speaking non-Russian here?"
n ther other hands there were similar posts in Spanish and German AFAIR, ergo we're not the only rednecks breeding farm on the way to Never-ending September :-)

[info]atrus_at_lj

3 years ago

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[info]weswilson

August 12 2008, 01:58:41 UTC 3 years ago

You win at the internets today.

Please go spam every community you can with this.

[info]mendaciloquent

August 12 2008, 02:19:04 UTC 3 years ago

Это нет шутки. Россия выиграет. Вы были предупрежены.

[info]existentme

August 12 2008, 02:48:37 UTC 3 years ago

"It is not present a joke. Russia will win. You have been warned."

Lol, are you serious?

[Americans also love a joke - we may need step 11 added to the list.]

[info]the_arioch

3 years ago

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]virtual_anima

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[info]mrbogey

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[info]the_arioch

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[info]mrbogey

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]heart_of_sword

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]heart_of_sword

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[info]attiandherfics

3 years ago

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[info]heart_of_sword

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[info]thecolourclear

3 years ago

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[info]heart_of_sword

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[info]thecolourclear

3 years ago

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[info]heart_of_sword

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]heart_of_sword

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]blackbot

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]blackbot

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]blackbot

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[info]thecolourclear

3 years ago

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[info]blackbot

3 years ago

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[info]thecolourclear

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[info]the_arioch

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[info]spellingmistake

3 years ago

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[info]blackbot

3 years ago

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[info]spellingmistake

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[info]existentme

August 12 2008, 02:46:13 UTC 3 years ago

Lmao at the cut text, alone!

Lol, that's great.

[Допустите ошибку, то есть:

Lmao в тексте сокращения, только!

Lol, это является большим.]

[info]southwest

August 12 2008, 03:28:30 UTC 3 years ago

ЛОЛ !!

translation for stupid Americans: LOL !!

[info]ocha_no_hanashi

August 12 2008, 03:34:38 UTC 3 years ago

So an American is stupid for not knowing Russian?

Can I say a Russian is stupid for not knowing Hindi?

[info]virtual_anima

3 years ago

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[info]ocha_no_hanashi

3 years ago

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[info]wc_helmets

3 years ago

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[info]ocha_no_hanashi

3 years ago

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[info]kot

3 years ago

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[info]ocha_no_hanashi

3 years ago

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[info]ocha_no_hanashi

3 years ago

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[info]southwest

3 years ago

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[info]ocha_no_hanashi

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[info]southwest

3 years ago

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[info]ocha_no_hanashi

3 years ago

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[info]commentator40

August 12 2008, 03:53:44 UTC 3 years ago

The joke is exact (I’m Russian). But some backfire maybe too: “How to Write Your Own American Post Against That Russian Armed Bear”. This stamp is stupid too.

[info]rage_the

August 12 2008, 06:27:10 UTC 3 years ago

By the way, I am the biggest russian bear and I'll get THIS NAZY SAAKA soon (no kidding) by my loooong communist dick and balalayka of war.

[info]mrbogey

August 12 2008, 03:54:49 UTC 3 years ago

Oh btw... it's morning in Russia now so you'll soon be seeing a lot of batshit nationalists posting soon. I wonder if their insistence that this is defensive will go a second day.

[info]georgprime

August 12 2008, 05:10:11 UTC 3 years ago

An excellent entry.

*1st comment in this community*

[info]nishi_miller

August 12 2008, 05:20:36 UTC 3 years ago

I never granted americans for good sense of humor. I was always sure that Jim Carrey is the best you have.
How I see you can produce interesting jokes. Thanks, you made my morning....

[info]pekines

August 12 2008, 06:14:51 UTC 3 years ago

Jim Carrey is from Canada! He is the best WE have!

[info]zeevvlad

3 years ago

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[info]abbefromru

August 12 2008, 05:33:43 UTC 3 years ago

translated :)

[info]tarkhil

August 12 2008, 05:36:32 UTC 3 years ago

Step 1. As far as I know, Georgian army has broke cease fire agreement.

Step 2. Rhetorics from both side is quite similar. Russia has been compared to Reich as well. Pile of shit.

Step 3. Borders over there are no historical. For those who knows history, or at least claims to know, remember wars after Treaty of Versailles - borders were set about as random.

Step 4. Russian peace-keeping forces were attacked. I see no meaning in military forces withdrawing at first shoot. Attack on military targets is a common war practice.

Step 5. Yes, Russia wants to have friendly government near borders. As well as USA wants friendly government in Panama.

Step 6. Unfortunately, there is no authentic sources, and fast progress of 3D rendering make me think that in 5-10 years there'll be no need in field photographers.

Step 7. If you support some actions of your government, without worrying about laws, do not pretend to be amazed.

Step 8. That's really stupid, but average Russian know English much better than average American knows Russian.

Step 9. That's common for both sides.

Step 10. The same.

[info]thecolourclear

August 12 2008, 06:49:09 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  August 12 2008, 06:50:49 UTC

8. While English and Russian are both international languages, UN headquarters is in New York, so the Russians have to learn English to contest their many parking tickets. Besides, English, French, and Spanish are the working languages of the GA.

On a more serious note, English has more global influence. These things are fluid and change often (hence why so many are learning Mandarin now). In a few years' time, in the United States, Mandarin will be offered in a large variety of schools. Why? Because Chinese influence is growing. There is no great Russian influence, so why should schools offer Russian?

Besides, the Russians already know English. Parking tickets, remember?

[info]mrbogey

3 years ago

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[info]tarkhil

3 years ago

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[info]leon_deleche

3 years ago

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[info]asocio

August 12 2008, 05:57:12 UTC 3 years ago

lol :)

[info]rage_the

August 12 2008, 06:52:53 UTC 3 years ago

they think that osean is sooo unpassable barrier so they swaggering like wimps staying in front of closed tiger hutch.
so shame to you in this play "in allies" with Saaka the SuperNazy!
But we don't care, as you don't care when you kill people in the world for some shit oil.
Difference: we don't need oil and gas of Saaka. You do.
We just will punish the War Delinquent. As you "do" (кто вас звал?) in Serbia, Afganistan and Iraq.
Difference: we'll realy punish the Delinquent. You are disgaced on all over the Non-American World as a mercenary invader, as a killer of micro-nations.
It follows this polemic is useless, cause all know, that Pindosy (sing. - Pindos=Fairy Boy, in this context Pindos=American Boy)go ape and nothing else.
Kidding (may be).

[info]blackbot

August 12 2008, 07:00:17 UTC 3 years ago

по пункту восемь. Кроме пендосов непонимающих Русский язык стран, следящих за совещением событий нет. все прекрасно понимают. тока сцукошвили - подстилка с шестёрками своими пытается лизнуть жопу нато, говоря на английском.

[info]schlaflosig

August 12 2008, 07:46:44 UTC 3 years ago

Guess what, our Russian foreign affairs minister speaks English too. Does he lick NATO ass too? It's childish.

[info]blackbot

3 years ago

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[info]schlaflosig

3 years ago

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[info]blackbot

3 years ago

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[info]anahtim

3 years ago

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[info]blackbot

3 years ago

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[info]pavel_

3 years ago

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[info]thies

August 12 2008, 08:34:00 UTC 3 years ago

Free Tibet Activists need to go get fucked. I bet nearly none of them have an idea how the isolationist theocracy based on serfdom and slavery looked before china took over. They do have good PR though. And there is some merit in saying if it was reverted to tibetian rule it'd at least be their own human rights violations instead of getting heavily colonized by han chinese to dilute demographics.

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[info]cgallivan

3 years ago

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[info]moskovoi

August 12 2008, 07:18:47 UTC 3 years ago

[info]abbefromru

August 12 2008, 07:30:31 UTC 3 years ago

как блять твой юзерпик может быть рядом с этой уебищной картинкой?

[info]moskovoi

3 years ago

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[info]the_arioch

3 years ago

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[info]schlaflosig

August 12 2008, 07:47:46 UTC 3 years ago

Funny as hell! :)

[info]rage_the

August 12 2008, 09:27:02 UTC 3 years ago

English - good, American English - very good, Americans --- hmmm....

hey you, dickheads! Remember the words of Bismark (if you know who was that):"Never mess with Russia". Even though I lost any humanity to you I'll give you one geopolitical secret (if you able to understand). Russia sleeps and suck it's paw, we're busy with inner collisions, philosofical searches etc. untill some scum tries to attack us, to spoil our party, to kill our people. Then it's the beginning of end for that scum.

[info]mrbogey

August 12 2008, 17:04:29 UTC 3 years ago

Re: English - good, American English - very good, Americans --- hmmm....

'hey you, dickheads! Remember the words of Bismark (if you know who was that):"Never mess with Russia"'

He said that back then because the terrain was difficult and most Russian leaders would piss away the lives of their serfs to defend their rule.

Have things not changed?

[info]rage_the

3 years ago

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[info]anahtim

3 years ago

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[info]rage_the

August 12 2008, 09:34:27 UTC 3 years ago

про чмо

бай вэ уэй, в английском новоязе есть слово чмо. chmo. так и пишетcя.

интересно как быстро эти уроды переведут:

когда кину палку весною
шуршащий комок пиннану
я под настроенье в Амерьку поеду
и там им отмщу за страну.
Получит пизды пиндосянин
Просящий гуманных основ
За гогот противный
И гадкие чуши останется он без понтов.

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